Wed, Jan 14 at 8AM

I awoke at 6:45 to the sound of Anh Hao texting me to say he is 2.5 hours from Houston. Lan Anh's email confirms that she will be here this afternoon.

The nurse came in to check on Cau Nam. He awakens and I can see him move is hands. As I approached, he opened his eyes and looked at me. I took his hand and assured him that I am there and had been there with him all through the night. I told him that Anh Dzuy, whom he had been asking for, had come by last night to see him. I told him that Mo Nam, Anh Vu, Anh Nam (Be), Kiet, Da Thao and Chi Da Thu had also been there to see him last night as well as Co Sau, Co Bay and their families. I told him that Co Lisa and her sons Anh An and Anh Dat had also been there as well.
Again he moved his arms, this time reaching to remove the breathing mask again. His eyes were open and appeared to focus normally, unlike during the two episodes yesterday morning when he was fighting so hard to get his breathing mask off. This time it seemed more like a comfort issue than a terror response. Thank God for that.

The nurse had stepped out to get some Adavan pain medicine, and I buzzed her to come back when Cau Nam started to resist his breathing mask again. A second nurse came in and suggested that by simply cupping his hand, it makes it easier to move it down away from his face. Cau Nam put up another mini struggle again. I continue to assure him that his nurse was coming back with some pain medication to help relieve his pain. I continued to assure him that his family was here and will come back to see him today.

I told him that Anh Hao will be here in about an hour and that Chi Lan Anh will be here this evening as well. I told him that Anh Tan is also on his way. After the nurse came in and gave him the Adavan shot, he fought a little more, though with far less strength than what he had yesterday morning.

Originally, he nurse had come in to try to suction out some of the fluid in his throat to allow him to breath easier and without that gurgling noise, but she decided to wait until he was sedated oncre again before attempting to stick a tube down his throat. I agreed that this was a good idea. After the nurses left Cau Nam relaxed though he kept his eyes open. I could tell that he could see me, and I could feel a slight grip from his cold hand. I stayed by his side and repeating words of comfort and assurance between long pauses of silence while taking his hand.

I couldn't help but think how scared and lonely it must feel to wake up in a strange place, imobilized by a lack of strength and sedatives, and not see a familiar face. If nothing else, that was the reason I stayed the night with him. I wanted him to know that he had not been shipped of to complete strangers to care for, and that his immediate family and all those whom he cared for and loved were still with him all the way.

The staff here are great and caring. They check on him regularly and even came in at night and put an extra blanket on me while I was sleeping. We had kept the room on the cold side because of Cau Nam's fever. I checked Cau Nam's chest tube and found that it had not drained in a while. Cau Nam slipped into a deeper more relaxed sleep, and I left his side. I hope that in reading this my sibblings and cousins who visit him today will be encouraged to know that he can be comforted by knowing that you are there to see him. When you take his hand, he knows it. When he opened his eyes this morning to look at me, it was with the look of a person just waking up, unlike the glassy-eyed look that we had seen yesterday. Perhaps he is fighting to keep his consciousness long enough to see the last of his children arrive today.

Thank God for all of you who have been such a comfort to him over the past weeks since the onset of his illness. I cannot even begin to list all of the acts of kindness and compassion, expression of love and support, and strength in presence that have been demonstrated by all of you. I won't thank you as if you were total strangers performing charitable acts, because you are in fact family. But I will say that I love you all the more for it.

Quoc